Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
