if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
wow bdsm is so cute
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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