He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
