You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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