i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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