god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it's like iHOP with fire
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
