...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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