i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
