somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I wish they made helmets for livers.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
