There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize