why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
