you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
