Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Randomize
