Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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