Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
