So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
