I swear she didn't look like that last week.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
