I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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