Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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