Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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