Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
