So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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