Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
