We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
