Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize