operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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