I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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