Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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