I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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