Say something about gay babies.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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