my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
