I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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