sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
