would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think my vagina is haunted
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
