Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Found the puke drawer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
