If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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