i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
