I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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