You really coming over, don't trick.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
