What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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