The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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