Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
