hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
