TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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