If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
