I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
