this beer tastes like vomit already
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
