So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
