she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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