Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
