can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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