You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
