rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
