NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
