69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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