Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize