it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize