Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
