I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
