you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
