ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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