Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i think im in europe. pls send help
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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