you guys were way drunker than both of me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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