we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
